Weigh In Wednesday

It is that time of the week again! To take a shaky breath and step on the scale hoping to have lost!

This week I weighted in at 329.6, which puts me at 56.4 pounds lost to date! I am very happy with my weight loss this week because I went on vacation with my family it did not follow the plan as strictly as normal! Well until next post;

Love and munchies,
Zoey

The story

Everyone acts like there is some magical moment when it comes to weight loss. That one morning you wake up and suddenly everything makes sense, you appetite is smaller, you love running, and lettuce is your new chocolate (no, just no). The truth is that for me it was a lot of little moments that led to me deciding to change my life.

My whole life I have struggled with weight, I have always been the bigger girl and to be honest I did not really care most of the time. Unlike all of the horrible shows and movies, I was not teased or made to feel unwanted because of my weight. At least not by people around me. The person who was the worst to me was myself. If I ever had a friend who said the same horrible things to me that I used to say to myself I would have cut them out of my life. 

Yet every morning I would wake up and unleash a near constant stream of self-hate. When I looked in the mirror all I saw was my weight or my acne, I would see the stretch marks on my shoulders or the way my stomach jiggled every time I took a breath. When I walked down the street I imagined the horrible things that people would be thinking about me, how I was such a pig. Yet never once has another person said anything like that to me.

I was my own bully.

More so than my weight this was the hardest thing to come to terms with during this journey. Changing what you eat and you activity levels is easy, changing the way you love yourself on the other hand. That is hard.

When I realized the way I was talking to myself was the first moment that I realized something needed to change. The rest fell into place after that. There was the moment when I realized I wanted to have more energy, or when I realized that I never wanted anyone to worry about me the way my mom has to worrying about my step dad who has heart problems. After that it was like I finally knew that I could handle this.

I think that is what people don’t understand sometimes about weight loss, that the internal transformation is actually the hardest part. I am so proud to say more than just the weight loss I am finally learning to be my own friend, it feels like coming home.

Love and munchies,

Zoey

The Awkward Post

I always think the first of anything is just incredibly awkward, first dates, first kisses, first days of school, and first blog posts. I mean what do you say? How do I introduce myself to the internet, to potential thousands of people but probably just my family? Well here we go anyway.

This blog is going to be about me, conceited I know, it is going to be about my weight loss journey and how it has looked for me. I hope that even if one person reads this that it may make a difference for them.

Before I started loosing weight I would look at health blogs and try and figure out if I could do this or not. And instead of finding hope and inspiration I would find the same old 'eat healthy and work out' theme. On paper sure that is what you have to do but if you are anything like me there are lots of other battles that come along with it. I hope to be a voice to those struggles, talk about my success and my failures, talk about why loosing weight is both the best and worst thing happening in my life right now, and talk about food because that is all I think about some days.

Now on to who I am I guess, my name is Zoey and I am currently the kick butt age of 21, when I started this journey I was not sure what was going to happen. I am stalling right now because I am so scared to put what my starting weight was. I have never told a soul, not even my family.

When I started this weight loss journey back in June I clocked in at 386 pounds. For perspective that is more than a baby elephant weighs at birth. It was tiring and scary but I thought that it was so out of my control there was nothing I could do about it. However there is and was something, and I am so proud to say that after 62 days I have lost 50 pounds!

I want to share what that has been like for me, and the rest of my journey because it is so far from over. Again the awkward part where I do not know how to end this...

With love and muchies,
Zoey